I’m going to launch an experiment this week. It’s a really tough one for me to pull off. Almost impossible, in all honesty.
I’m going to be a *!@#(&! ray of positive sunshine. For one whole blasted week.
Now by positive I mean in the extreme. We’re talking happy thoughts at all times. Generating only upbeat, loving, goody-goody emotions. Sending joyful intentions out into the universe. Meditating my damn ass off every night and if I get up early enough meditating in the morning too before work.
To stay positive I will have to avoid thinking about some of my relatives. It will mean not reading a lot of news stores and sticking my fingers in my ears and loudly saying “La la la la la” at the very mention of Fox News. I also won’t talk much with many people because a) a couple of them will only make me feel like crap, and b) if I’m unrelentingly cheerful in conversations with co-workers they’ll wonder what drug I’m on.
And why will I be a ray of sunshine, you ask?
Like I said, this is an experiment. I want to see if, because of this intense shift within me, something on the outside shifts too. As in, will small positive events or incidents come my way? Will I get some good payback from the universe/ collective unconscious/ whatever?
Yeah, I know. This sounds like flaky New Age hokum. And a lot of you will have intelligent arguments against it. But I’ve lived long enough to know that during times in my life when I was really down and depressed, even more bad luck tumbled my way. On the other hand, when I was up and happy, things got better. Maybe this was an illusion, but then that means my experiment with an illusion won’t hurt me.
There’s also the physical aspect. All told, I’ve had about eight surgeries over the years, and while a few of them were necessary because of issues I was born with, I absolutely know that three were the direct result of a relationship I was in. My body was trying to tell me, “Will you leave this jerk?” When I finally did leave him, my body got healthy again. Maybe one week of fantastic felicitousness will be good for my body.
So that’s my plan. I’ll let you know next week how it went. By then I should be back to my old rotten self and whining away.
Do any of you guys have stories of weird happy/crappy emotional karma connections? I’d love to know.